


Is This Love?

by jiffyfetch



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1568492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiffyfetch/pseuds/jiffyfetch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know how some people believe in God or the Tooth Fairy or Love? I never believed in any of those, not even when I was a little kid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is This Love?

You know how some people believe in God or the Tooth Fairy or Love? I never believed in any of those, not even when I was a little kid.

"Son," my dad told me one evening, "there ain't no God. There ain't no Holy Father or Ghost or whatever the fuck those Church-goin quacks will try to tell you. There's just you, and there's just me. I'm the only Holy Father you'll ever need."

The tooth fairy rumor was never even started and, of course, his relationship with mom never left much room for an expectation of love.

So when a little ginger shit showed up in my bed, I didn't know quite what to do with him. And I really didn't know why I kept letting him into my life.

\--

We're in my bedroom and a scrawny redhead is staring at me.

"Kiss me and I'll cut your fucking tongue out," I blurt. I had already let him take my shirt off, my pants, my layers of protection; I had let my walls crumble for long, excruciating minutes.

_Kiss me_ I don't say.  _Hold me, touch me._ The walls have been down for long enough today.

\--

We're pressed against the chain link and a taller-than-I-remembered redhead is pressed up against me.

Summer heat and the smell of grass and the taste of stale beer. His fingers running up my thighs. His shoulders braced against mine. His breath hot on my neck.

_I like you. I like this. Please don't go, stay with me here forever._

Instead I let out a shout, an "I've always wanted to do that here."

\--

We're in the hallway that smells like piss and erasers and a redhead is staring into my eyes way too intensely.

_Don't look. Don't see what's there._

"The fuck are you doing?"

_I don't want you to see. I like you and I'm scared._

\--

We're under the bleachers and a laughing redhead is lighting his cigarette.

"Missed ya."

_Shit._

"Yeah?"

_Yeah. I missed you. I missed you. I want you._

_\--_

We're in a broken-glass-covered alley and a snarling redhead is still reeling from the punch he's just thrown.

"You're gay and you love me," he gasps.

_Love me, love me, love me_. My ears are ringing and I'm gasping and he's crying.

What is love? Tell me Ian, please, because I don't know anymore.

_You love me. You love me. You love me._

_\--_

I'm in a pitch black room and my redhead is gone, gone, gone.

"I miss you," I whisper to the pillows.

"I miss you."  _I miss you. I miss you. I miss you._

\--

We're in a snow-covered alley, dance music beating under my feet and a fucked up redhead is lying in the snow.

"Jesus Christ, Ian." I groan. "Hey, hey."

_Don't do this to me. I missed you. I need you._

_\--_

We're in a lumpy sofa bed and a worn out redhead is sleeping next to me.

"You just meet last night or are you together?"

"Together."

_Is this love?_

\--

We're in the Alibi Room and an infuriating redhead has just given me an ultimatum.

"Hey everyone," I announce, "I'd just like you all to know that I'm fuckin gay."

The punches my dad throws surprise no one, least of all me.

Bloody and beaten, an arm wraps around and Ian presses a kiss to the top of my head.

_Is this love_ _?_

_\--_

We're in bed, hiding under the covers and whispering secrets back and forth, just me and this little redhead from the Southside.

"Ian?"

"Yeah?"

"What's love?"

"It's when you have this person you'd do anything for.  And it doesn't matter if it hurts or if it's hard cause you have them."

"I love you, firecrotch."

"I love you too, Mick."

_And this is love. This is love._


End file.
